Friday, 14 March 2008

English woman attacks 7 eleven staff with water pistol

It was a usual sleepy day in Kan Tiang Bay. Pod, a very spiritual English woman in her 50’s, was pottering around her bamboo hut, begrudgingly packing her belongings for her trip to England. She would be returning to Kan Tiang Bay in a month or so, and wanted to leave her hut spick and span; so between packing frenzies she was popping back and forth to 7 eleven for cleaning products and other odds and ends.

She had built up a great rapport with the friendly staff of 7 eleven, despite the language barrier, and they always had a giggle with her whenever she stopped by. As this was her last day in Kan Tiang Bay for a while – spirits were high both within Pod, and the cheerful shop staff. I guess it was an attempt to brush over the underlying sadness of people parting in a very transient life – the 7 eleven girls were going to miss this exuberant character.

On about her 5th visit to the shop – after a bit of banter and giggling – one of the staff slapped Pod on the bottom and said something in Thai – which Pod didn’t understand.

There was a very serious tone to the voice of the young Thai woman, so Pod decided she ought to find out what she was trying to say. She made her way to the dive shop, where a Thai woman works – who speaks very good English.

Pod explained the scenario, and recited the phrase she thought the Thai lady in 7 eleven had used.

“What does it mean? What are they trying to tell me?” Pod asked.

“Errrm – I think that’s local dialect for – “You are crazy!” replied the English speaking Thai lady.

“Oh – I see!” smiled Pod. She pondered on it for a moment, and came to the conclusion that the staff must have stepped up their banter to another level. In an attempt to join in the humour, and up the ante a little, Pod decided that it would be good fun to embark upon a complete act of craziness...

With that she rushed to her hut, grabbed the huge water pistol she had bought in preparation for the Thai new year festivities, charged into 7 eleven, and proceeded to shoot all of the staff with water.

“You call me crazy!” she laughed in a loud voice – “I’ll show you crazy!”....

The staff seemed somewhat dumb struck, and so she scuttled out, wondering if she’d done the right thing or not...

Later that day, she bumped into one of the 7 eleven girls by the beach. The usual friendly greeting was absent – “Oh dear!” thought Pod, “I think I’ve upset them....”

In a desperate attempt to regain the friendship of the 7 eleven staff Pod rushed back to the dive shop, and dragged the English speaking Thai lady back to 7 eleven; with her presence the language barrier would be smashed down...

As it turned out – Pod, had been wandering around Kan Tiang Bay all day with quite a large hole in her shorts. All of her knickers had been stolen by the cheeky monkeys who hang around some of the resorts, so the hole revealed her bare white bottom to the world.

The lady in 7 eleven had noticed the hole earlier in the day, and had actually been trying to tell her.... that's what she had said when slapped Pod's bottom.

When Pod’s side of the story was relayed to them by the translator, the entire staff of the shop broke out into hysterics... they were particularly amused by the fact that the monkeys had stolen Pod’s knickers.

With the misunderstandings resolved – everyone was happy! Apart from Pod that is – who was mortified that she had been running around the bay all day baring her bottom to all who looked her way!

I hope my writing has done the story justice... when Pod relayed it to me verbally I thought it was hysterical... especially when I tried to rerun it visually in mind, and replace 7 eleven with Tesco Express in England.. I mean, how would such an act go down in the UK? For sure the men in white coats would have pulled up and taken Pod away! Yet here in Thailand – although it seemed a little crazy, it did seem that much more acceptable and “usual”.

It drew my attention once more to the fact that while staying in an area which attracts people from all walks of life, each day usually presents some kind of amusing event or story... Tourists and travellers alike are all out to make the most of their experience, and often feel free to reveal the wackier aspects of their characters... Couple this with the natural confusion that different languages and cultures can often generate between people, and you have a sure fire recipe for some very amusing random happenings...

Here's to randomnicity and craziness!!!!

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