If bugs are terrorists then I'm George Bush

A journal entry from Pod

The rains bring the mosquitoes. Bearing this in mind, I went to the Aqua Bar the day before yesterday to connect to the the Internet. I wore my long baggy trousers to cover my legs and a small top, the rest of my exposed body was lathered in Citronella and Eucalyptus oil (my own, tried and tested non chemical anti mozzie concoction)

Within ten minutes I was feeling the unmistakable sting of mozzie bites on the back of my legs. I hurried home, took off my clothes and applied my Aspivenin suction kit (I am aware that if I was seen doing this on CCTV in the UK I would be arrested as a heroin addict) but it works, if you can reach the spot.

Next morning, I asked a resident long time ex pat, Mr D* if mosquitoes can get you through your clothes. "Oh yes," he replied, "if it is thin sarong material they can, and they can live in your clothes too" (AHHHH activate fear mode!)

He advised me to spray my clothes cupboard regularly as mosquitoes live in dark places and then when they come out and suck your blood it is only to lay eggs and die. He also said that it is not wise to sleep in the same room you keep your clothes in. (so I could have put on my own mosquitoes) Lovely..........RED ALERT!

Last night I noticed rather a lot of mosquitoes in my bathroom which is warm and humid and has no window. So I lit an anti mosquito coil which smoked on top of the toilet tank.

I also lit one in my room, I thought that they just discouraged mosquitoes but when one crashed into my bed and died, I real*eyesed they may be more powerful (can't read the packet as it is in Thai)

When I went to the toilet, the floor was covered in dead mosquitoes. More died in my room, not little ones but big b******s with yellow striped bodies, rigged for silent running.

I went to sleep feeling terrorized unable to leave any part of my body exposed. And when I awoke this morning and found a flea in my bed, that was it. I felt despair. I made a coffee and wondered how to be safe.

Suddenly I heard the loudest fracas outside my room. I opened the window to see a group of mynah birds attacking each other. "Do you mind?" I heard myself say in a total Mary Poppins voice. They flew off, but several minutes later it started again.

This time I just opened the door, kept quiet and watched. Then I just giggled....

As I watched, all the birds went for each other, until some of them surrendered and lay down. Then when all those that were attacked had lain down the aggressors lay on their backs and they continued to screech and act ferocious.




When they felt vanquished the whole group would get to their feet and start again.

It looked very fierce with open shrieking beaks, but no bird was physically hurt. I can only assume it is the start of the mating season, because I have seen them strutting round with their heads down and their plumage puffed like the pigeons do. But at least pigeons have some dignity, mynah birds are definitely the clowns of the avian world.

I don't know how long it would have lasted if a cat had not appeared on the scene, but I managed to get a shot of them; they were totally oblivious to me. Two of them are actually playing dead in the photo, but flew off very quickly.

I have cleaned and cleaned today. Sprayed my mattress with poison and let it dry. Put my sheets and pillows out in the sun hoping that the heat would kill anything that moves.

I have done all this with a lightness of heart, brought about by the comical antics of the mynah birds.

Good thing too, because when I went to the 7/11 and asked for chemical help with my flea, they just laughed and subconsciously scratched themselves. The Thai word for flea is "mad"