If bugs are terrorists then I'm George Bush

A journal entry from Pod

The rains bring the mosquitoes. Bearing this in mind, I went to the Aqua Bar the day before yesterday to connect to the the Internet. I wore my long baggy trousers to cover my legs and a small top, the rest of my exposed body was lathered in Citronella and Eucalyptus oil (my own, tried and tested non chemical anti mozzie concoction)

Within ten minutes I was feeling the unmistakable sting of mozzie bites on the back of my legs. I hurried home, took off my clothes and applied my Aspivenin suction kit (I am aware that if I was seen doing this on CCTV in the UK I would be arrested as a heroin addict) but it works, if you can reach the spot.

Next morning, I asked a resident long time ex pat, Mr D* if mosquitoes can get you through your clothes. "Oh yes," he replied, "if it is thin sarong material they can, and they can live in your clothes too" (AHHHH activate fear mode!)

He advised me to spray my clothes cupboard regularly as mosquitoes live in dark places and then when they come out and suck your blood it is only to lay eggs and die. He also said that it is not wise to sleep in the same room you keep your clothes in. (so I could have put on my own mosquitoes) Lovely..........RED ALERT!

Last night I noticed rather a lot of mosquitoes in my bathroom which is warm and humid and has no window. So I lit an anti mosquito coil which smoked on top of the toilet tank.

I also lit one in my room, I thought that they just discouraged mosquitoes but when one crashed into my bed and died, I real*eyesed they may be more powerful (can't read the packet as it is in Thai)

When I went to the toilet, the floor was covered in dead mosquitoes. More died in my room, not little ones but big b******s with yellow striped bodies, rigged for silent running.

I went to sleep feeling terrorized unable to leave any part of my body exposed. And when I awoke this morning and found a flea in my bed, that was it. I felt despair. I made a coffee and wondered how to be safe.

Suddenly I heard the loudest fracas outside my room. I opened the window to see a group of mynah birds attacking each other. "Do you mind?" I heard myself say in a total Mary Poppins voice. They flew off, but several minutes later it started again.

This time I just opened the door, kept quiet and watched. Then I just giggled....

As I watched, all the birds went for each other, until some of them surrendered and lay down. Then when all those that were attacked had lain down the aggressors lay on their backs and they continued to screech and act ferocious.




When they felt vanquished the whole group would get to their feet and start again.

It looked very fierce with open shrieking beaks, but no bird was physically hurt. I can only assume it is the start of the mating season, because I have seen them strutting round with their heads down and their plumage puffed like the pigeons do. But at least pigeons have some dignity, mynah birds are definitely the clowns of the avian world.

I don't know how long it would have lasted if a cat had not appeared on the scene, but I managed to get a shot of them; they were totally oblivious to me. Two of them are actually playing dead in the photo, but flew off very quickly.

I have cleaned and cleaned today. Sprayed my mattress with poison and let it dry. Put my sheets and pillows out in the sun hoping that the heat would kill anything that moves.

I have done all this with a lightness of heart, brought about by the comical antics of the mynah birds.

Good thing too, because when I went to the 7/11 and asked for chemical help with my flea, they just laughed and subconsciously scratched themselves. The Thai word for flea is "mad"

There Be Dragons

A journal entry by Pod

In olden times, before the globe was circumnavigated, ancient maps bore the words "There Be Dragons" in the unknown and unexplored areas of the world. Dragons are scary creatures but their fire burns away the parts of you that are no longer necessary to your survival.

Last night I watched "La Vie En Rose" the story of Edith Piaf. Gosh* if ever a soul wanted to experience the agony of loss, it was little Edith with her big heart. In a final interview she spoke with an honest simplicity about Love being the central theme of her life, which was truly remarkable considering she lost everyone she loved, usually in traumatic circumstances.

I started to weep as she screamed out the name of her lover, killed in a plane crash. It was downhill from then on; the final song, "Je Ne Regret Rien" dragged me into my emotional compost heap, and I began a weepathon that has continued periodically throughout this morning.

I too am experiencing the pain of loss. The loss of my wonderful friends in England. I have been so blessed to have the most amazing people in my life, who have loved me and supported me unconditionally. My sudden decision to leave England permanently was a shock to all of them, but they never once tried to make me change my mind; instead they bravely held their pain in check and did all they could to assist me. They loved me enough to let me go because they knew me well. I know some of them miss me very much.

Because of my imminent departure, I experienced a wave of love from people who perhaps felt it was their last chance to love me and tell me how much I had helped them. It was beautiful, a bit like dying perhaps, but I was sad too because all their love was not enough to make me stay and that felt as if I was betraying them in some way.

I will, of course, see them again, I plan periodic trips back to stock up on supplies and have a change of scenery. Some will come and stay here with me; already two of them have made firm plans to travel to Kantiang Bay in the next 9 months. Nevertheless my heart knows their absence from my everyday life.

It takes some time and effort to build good trusting friendships doesn't it? You know the sort where you really listen to each other, affirm each other and love each other enough to blow away the bull**** and remember the loving truth beneath. Friendships where you have spent cosy evenings with a bottle of wine, telling each other your herstory/history, trusting each other with the contents of your emotional closet.

Some of my friends have been rungs on the ladder that allowed me to climb out of despair.

These qualities are still there in my friendships, but due to time differences, busy lives and the dynamics of ?,000 miles apart, they are not available to me in the same, easy, spontaneous way. I am living a different life with different challenges in a very different environment and I am responsible for the consequences of my choices. If I sometimes feel lonely, then so be it. That is the price I will pay. The scary part for me is that I will not be able to create that sort of friendship here in Thailand because it is such a transient place. People just move on.

It's not all roses you know. There are thorns and today I am right in the middle of the briar patch pulling them out of my heart.

Is it time to leave Paradise?

Article written by Pod

The Internet is down, the power could go off at any minute as it has done many times in the last week. The air is full of some sort of flying insects which get into your hair, your clothes, everywhere. The frogs croak every time it rains (which is becoming more and more frequent), Burma - just ' up the road' geographically, has lost untold thousands to a vicious cyclone and the cicadas are so noisy that I have to turn up my music.

I have seen more snakes in the last week, than in my entire life, some of which I am sure are poisonous. The waves are too big to go floating on my lilo and much of Kantiang bay is shutting down for low season.

Is it time to leave paradise? No way! With all of this, I still want to live here because these are real problems brought about by real life. Not the manufactured fear that politicians and newspapers create in Britain which I cannot combat or deal with, because whether it is an increase in council tax, or God forbid, some passerby that sees me drop a piece of cake out of the car window and reports me to the council resulting in a hefty fine though the post, I have a choice in how I deal with these problems.

Yeah, sometimes it is boring when the electricity is off for five hours and it is raining. I have to do something, or experience boredom. Yes, I am seriously p-ss-d off when my washing (done by hand) is rained on, the mud has splattered all over it and I have to wash it all again (and those smalls are tedious). But these are challenges. England did not present me with challenges that allowed me to use my imagination and pit my strength. England presented me with situations where I was totally powerless to change the outcome.

I marched against the war in Iraq (for all the good it did) Tony Blair went to war, illegally anyway! I remonstrated with my local council about the amount of rubbish in my street, left there by McDonald's customers. I asked them to put in litter bins. Did they listen? No! Just increased my council tax by 12% Thanks Sheffield.

The sense of powerlessness, the feeling that I did not exist was the main reason I left the U.K.

Despite the rain, the mud, and the mozzies, I will stay. Tonight as I lay in my hammock, listening to life all around me, a firefly slowly sparkled its magical way past me. I am enchanted!!!!!!



Disclaimer: All opinions expressed by contributors are not necessarily those of the editor.

Weather - Thailand versus England

Almost a year ago now, while sitting in the living room of the flat I was renting in Suffolk, England – I came up with my top 10 reasons for wanting to leave England to live and work abroad. Now, I’m sitting in Thailand, living the next episode of my journey to lead a simpler life.

I’m from the school of thought “you never know until you try” and firmly believe that events and situations are very rarely as you imagined they would be. With that in mind, I didn’t leave England in January under the banner of “never to return again”, but more in an attempt to explore and discover the realities of living in other countries. Only then did I feel I could possibly be in a position to make an informed choice on “where to lay my hat”.

Having now spent 3 months away from England, and having gained a good insight into life in Thailand I felt it was time I started to revisit my top 10 reasons for wanting to leave England – to see if anything has changed.

The number one reason for wanting to leave England to live and work abroad, I previously attributed to - The Weather. Click here to read my thoughts on English weather.

So – now that I’ve been in South East Asia for longer than a 2 week holiday, how do I feel about the weather here – in comparison to the UK.

Even if you can’t stand the British weather, there are positive aspects to the seasons we experience in England. Whilst it has been great to be here in Thailand, beside beautiful beaches, with beaming sunshine radiating heat of 30 or 40 degrees, we have often craved a cold wintery night so we could snuggle up on the sofa with a duvet, and enter into a kind of hibernation. Winter in England, although it’s cold, meek and for many depressing, it is also a great time to rest, stay at home, rejuvenate, and consider new ventures. Then, only after the sleepiness of winter, can you experience the waking up in spring.

As we sweated our way through a very hot March over here in Thailand, we occasionally drifted off to fond thoughts of daffodils carpeting our local country park in Suffolk, spring born lambs playing in the fields, and walking the dog in the woods while witnessing the first signs of life in what seems like Nature’s New Year.

Here in Thailand, the changes in weather during March were less apparent. We were well into the hot season on Koh Lanta (South West Thailand), and at that point, no seasonal changes in nature had really been obvious – even the diving conditions were fairly constant. But as it got nearer the end of March, it got hotter and hotter, to a point we could barely move. While I enjoyed the laziness the heat inspired, Paul got frustrated and dreamt of cool, fresh, pine woodlands...

Then just as it got too hot to bear.... the weather cracked!!!


Lightening from our balcony a couple of days ago.

Then yesterday morning we sipped hot cups of tea, huddled under the cover of the Aqua Bar, outside the dive shop, while watching the treacherous rain carve rivers into the beach.

Suddenly the frogs started their loud choruses which more resemble the sound you would expect to hear from a gigantic herd of mooing cows, than a mass of frogs. And last night, riding home on the moped was more like racing around an obstacle course, as Paul swerved again and again, in attempt to dodge the frogs which seem to have appeared everywhere – from nowhere. Every now and again throughout the day, the insects in the trees and bushes started up their high pitch singing for a few minutes, and then miraculously, like a conducted orchestra, they all stop at the same time.

Thailand has two prominent seasons - dry season, and rainy season - high season and low season. The timing of each season varies considerably depending upon where in Thailand you are, and in some areas is actually the complete opposite to here on Koh Lanta. During low season (April/May – October/November) Koh Lanta pretty much closes down apart from Kan Tiang Bay in the South. The conditions of the sea make it difficult to dive, and the rain, although by no means continuous, is frequent enough to deter tourists.

Over the last couple of years the rain has arrived on Koh Lanta in May – and locals are unsure at the moment as to whether this last couple of stormy outbreaks - is the low season arriving a month early, or just a freak outbreak.

Whatever – the storms are amazing to watch for now – and provided a pleasant, but temporary break from the humid heat of the last few weeks..

Dogs in Islam

In the early hours of my first morning in Koh Lanta I was awoken by a noise. It took me a while to get my head around what it was that I was listening to.

Awake but eyes still closed I let out a huge sigh and thought “What is that?”

“It sounds peaceful, but it’s loud enough to wake me up.”

“ It sounds like singing.”

Another sigh, or more like a pleasant, contemplative groan.

“It’s veeery spiritual !”

Suddenly an image of the women I’d seen wearing veils the day before when I arrived, flashed up before my eyes.

“Oh! It’s the call for prayer!” I realised.

“How bizarre – I had no idea there was a muslim population here. I thought they were Buddhists!”

And with that I drifted off to sleep again.

The next day I had several discussions with people who all clarified that yes – the inhabitants of Koh Lanta are predominantly Muslim, as oppose to the Buddhism I’d ignorantly assumed. I was really surprised. It’s not that I have any aversion to the muslim faith at all, but I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t been aware of that fact - particularly as I’d spent time in Koh Lanta before.

Over the next few days I started to notice how there were loads of cats around Kan Tiang Bay – but no dogs. That also completely threw me. I remember there being loads of dogs before. I often fondly look back on a memory I have of skipping along the beach of Koh Lanta with my head phones on carrying a little puppy in my arms. It had been trotting along behind me while I was walking. Put a dog lover, a really cute puppy, and a walk along the beach together – and it was inevitable I would end up picking it up! But anyway – where was that place? There are no dogs here in Kan Tiang Bay?

Previously I had been staying further North on the island – at Long Beach. My friend was staying there this year, and when we visited I was relieved to see – that yes – there were dogs around – quite a few of them. So – No – I wasn’t going mad.

I was intrigued to know why there were loads of dogs on one part of the island, yet further South, there were none – though there were loads of cats! I am allergic to cats – but I love dogs!

Aside from the obvious increase in number of dogs, I also noted that further North on the island there were less signs of the muslim faith. I didn’t hear any call for prayers, and didn’t see so many women in traditional clothing.

“hmmmm – I wonder if the two are connected? “

A few of my friends confirmed that they believed muslims didn’t like dogs, and with a little bit of investigation on the good old tinternet – I discovered an entire tin of worms.

It would seem that there is some confusion within the muslim faith over how dogs ought to be treated. There are those that follow the belief that dogs are unclean, and those that believe that all creatures are from Allah and are deserving of love. In general though dogs have been viewed as impure and unclean, especially their saliva, and many jurists have declared that it is not permissible to keep dogs as pets, though it is permissible to keep a dog for security purposes, hunting and farming.

Here are some informative links for those of you who want to know more...

From www.albalagh.net
“Q.) I am a 15 year old Muslim American and my mother is buying a dog. I heard that if I touch the dog, I cannot pray. Is this true? What should I do?”

From www.islamicconcern.org
Dogs in Islam: Traditionally, dogs have been seen as impure, and the Islamic legal tradition has developed several injunctions that warn Muslims against most contact with dogs.

From www.islamonline.net
We are, however, not allowed to keep a dog as a pet, since it is not a very clean animal.

From www.submission.org
Fabricated hadiths contradict the Quran. Many of them narrated by Abu Hurayra. Abu Hurayra, whose name is translated as , father of the little cat, hated dogs and women and from his mouth came many hadiths that insulted women and cursed the dogs and make them undesirable animals that need to be avoided and in other hadiths killed.

In The Daily Mail a couple of years ago.
A Muslim minicab driver refused to take a blind passenger because her guide dog was "unclean".

Social Class and White Skin in Thailand

Since my first trip to Thailand in 2003, it’s always fascinated me how the Thais seem to be fixated with white skin. In contrast to the UK where a tan is fashionable, the Thai population go to great lengths to make their skin whiter.

It’s always amused me and highlighted the craziness of the world we live in – where on one side of the world people lay in the sun, under sun beds, or invest in potions and lotions to make their skin darker – but on the other side of the world in Thailand (in fact most of Asia), the shops are full of beauty products designed to make the skin whiter.

Initially, in my western arrogance, I assumed it was because the Thai people wanted to be more like us. However I’ve since discovered that in fact, the appeal of white skin is an age old cultural inclination of the Thai social class system.

In Thailand white skin signifies that you don't need to spend much time out in the sun, and as the majority of lower paid jobs involve hard slog and physical labour outside in the soaring heat, having white skin indicates that you must work inside, and are therefore wealthier, probably more educated, and likely to be in a more affluent position.

More recently however there has been a growing trend among the entire Asian population, that white skin on women is more attractive. Mass marketing campaigns by cosmetic companies, targeted at the Asian female population, seem to lie at the stem of this burst of white blossom around the Asian world. The international film industry and advertisements of multi -national organisations, who support the trend by favouring women with pale, pure complexion, and thrusting them into the Asian spot lights also have a huge part to play in the desire for white skin.

Subconsciously affected by the advertising which cleverly reinforces the existing "white skin preference" of the social class system, many asian women are led to believe that if they douse themselves in skin whitening products they stand a better chance of wealth, love and happiness....

English woman attacks 7 eleven staff with water pistol

It was a usual sleepy day in Kan Tiang Bay. Pod, a very spiritual English woman in her 50’s, was pottering around her bamboo hut, begrudgingly packing her belongings for her trip to England. She would be returning to Kan Tiang Bay in a month or so, and wanted to leave her hut spick and span; so between packing frenzies she was popping back and forth to 7 eleven for cleaning products and other odds and ends.

She had built up a great rapport with the friendly staff of 7 eleven, despite the language barrier, and they always had a giggle with her whenever she stopped by. As this was her last day in Kan Tiang Bay for a while – spirits were high both within Pod, and the cheerful shop staff. I guess it was an attempt to brush over the underlying sadness of people parting in a very transient life – the 7 eleven girls were going to miss this exuberant character.

On about her 5th visit to the shop – after a bit of banter and giggling – one of the staff slapped Pod on the bottom and said something in Thai – which Pod didn’t understand.

There was a very serious tone to the voice of the young Thai woman, so Pod decided she ought to find out what she was trying to say. She made her way to the dive shop, where a Thai woman works – who speaks very good English.

Pod explained the scenario, and recited the phrase she thought the Thai lady in 7 eleven had used.

“What does it mean? What are they trying to tell me?” Pod asked.

“Errrm – I think that’s local dialect for – “You are crazy!” replied the English speaking Thai lady.

“Oh – I see!” smiled Pod. She pondered on it for a moment, and came to the conclusion that the staff must have stepped up their banter to another level. In an attempt to join in the humour, and up the ante a little, Pod decided that it would be good fun to embark upon a complete act of craziness...

With that she rushed to her hut, grabbed the huge water pistol she had bought in preparation for the Thai new year festivities, charged into 7 eleven, and proceeded to shoot all of the staff with water.

“You call me crazy!” she laughed in a loud voice – “I’ll show you crazy!”....

The staff seemed somewhat dumb struck, and so she scuttled out, wondering if she’d done the right thing or not...

Later that day, she bumped into one of the 7 eleven girls by the beach. The usual friendly greeting was absent – “Oh dear!” thought Pod, “I think I’ve upset them....”

In a desperate attempt to regain the friendship of the 7 eleven staff Pod rushed back to the dive shop, and dragged the English speaking Thai lady back to 7 eleven; with her presence the language barrier would be smashed down...

As it turned out – Pod, had been wandering around Kan Tiang Bay all day with quite a large hole in her shorts. All of her knickers had been stolen by the cheeky monkeys who hang around some of the resorts, so the hole revealed her bare white bottom to the world.

The lady in 7 eleven had noticed the hole earlier in the day, and had actually been trying to tell her.... that's what she had said when slapped Pod's bottom.

When Pod’s side of the story was relayed to them by the translator, the entire staff of the shop broke out into hysterics... they were particularly amused by the fact that the monkeys had stolen Pod’s knickers.

With the misunderstandings resolved – everyone was happy! Apart from Pod that is – who was mortified that she had been running around the bay all day baring her bottom to all who looked her way!

I hope my writing has done the story justice... when Pod relayed it to me verbally I thought it was hysterical... especially when I tried to rerun it visually in mind, and replace 7 eleven with Tesco Express in England.. I mean, how would such an act go down in the UK? For sure the men in white coats would have pulled up and taken Pod away! Yet here in Thailand – although it seemed a little crazy, it did seem that much more acceptable and “usual”.

It drew my attention once more to the fact that while staying in an area which attracts people from all walks of life, each day usually presents some kind of amusing event or story... Tourists and travellers alike are all out to make the most of their experience, and often feel free to reveal the wackier aspects of their characters... Couple this with the natural confusion that different languages and cultures can often generate between people, and you have a sure fire recipe for some very amusing random happenings...

Here's to randomnicity and craziness!!!!

Praying mantis posing for vogue...

The other night a "visitor" popped up on our balcony....



He must have known that we were looking for models for the blog, as he seemed really keen to pose... what followed was a one hour photo shoot with a praying mantis...

"I can do coy!!" he says shyly....



"I can do camp too! Is pink my colour?" he jumps to the broomstick, getting excited at the prospect of becoming a supermodel....



That's all very lovely young chap - but what we'd really like is a photo of you in your full praying glory!!

"How about this?" he poses against the night sky...



"Lovely!"comes the photographer's voice from behind the camera... "And look up a bit - one more!"... "Thaaaaaat's it - perfect!"...



Please note that myself and Paul are now the agents for this new supermodel praying mantis - all requests for shoots must come via this blog...

Images copyright - Paul Rusher - 2008

The problem with "no problem"!

So – we’re back from diving! Well actually we’ve been back for a few days now but I’ve been busy working on another project so the blog (sadly) had to take a back seat...

I will be posting a review and some photos of our trip to the Similans – but I’m waiting for Paul to find the time to go through his photos! He’s also taken some great shots of some of the nature around here and other bits and pieces on the island... All coming soon!!

So – back to the topic in hand – The problem with “no problem”!....

A couple of posts back I wrote about the “cool heart of Thailand” and the Thais’ philosophy of “mai pen rai” or “no problems”...

My previous post painted quite a rosy picture, but naturally there are a number of drawbacks that stem from the “no problems” attitude to life.... What if there actually is a problem that needs resolving?

Upon our return to Koh Lanta we experienced a scenario which highlighted to us – that just because the locals may say “no problem”, it doesn’t actually mean that there isn’t a problem...

We arrived at the North of the island from our ferry, and needed to get a taxi down to Kan Tiang Bay in the south of the island. Most of the taxi drivers were insisting on double the fare that we had been told we should pay, so we were bartering our way around the many taxi touts who were swarming like wasps around the fresh tourists who had just stepped off the ferry.

We were just starting to get agitated by the swarms who seemed set on getting double the fare, when we clocked a very quiet and calm looking tuk tuk driver, just sitting on his bike – waiting for customers. We asked him how much and he agreed straight away to take us for the price we knew was the “right” price.

Then it occurred to us that we had two sets of diving equipment, luggage for two people for a week, and of course, two bodies... I sensed a problem... Tuk Tuks on Koh Lanta are basically little carriages attached to the side of a moped – and the road to Kan Tiang Bay – is very hilly!!! Would the load be to heavy for the tuk tuk to bear?

“Aaahhh – but very heavy!” I said in a concerned manner to the tuk tuk driver.

“Mai pen rai!” he smiled gently....

We deliberated for a while – but it was hot, we were tired, so we decided to go for it..... The driver had said that the weight wasn’t a problem, so we trusted that he had obviously managed such a heavy load as far as Kan Tiang Bay before....

ha ha ha – how wrong could we be... half an hour later and we were pushing the tuk tuk plus the driver, plus our luggage up a steep hill in 35 degrees sweltering heat....

Still, throughout the whole “adventure” the driver remained gentle looking, calm, and determined, and I felt sorry that his tuk tuk hadn’t made it up the hill!! When we arrived in Kan Tiang Bay, I decided to give him a tip simply because I found his manner so endearing... when I gave him the money, he smiled.... “No money” he said, and showed me the contents of his money pouch – it was empty...

It was then that we realised that this gentle man really needed to make this trip to Kan Tiang Bay... even though it was unlikely his bike would make it, and it was unlikely he would make a great deal of profit from it – taking petrol into account, and even though it could possibly have ruined the engine of his bike... he needed the money...

This particular example highlights the poverty and struggle that many of the Thais are faced with, but also pulls back the cover and begins to reveal the trouble behind the "mai pen rai" attitude. The problem with “no problem” can be far more serious than pushing a tuk tuk up a hill... The opportunity that it provides to “bury” problems can easily lead to an inability to recognise and deal with issues that actually are a real problem.... if you couple this with the “chai yen yen” , “calm down” “cool heart”, you can see the potential for a scenario where a Thai person may struggle to even face a problem, let alone deal with it. The problem therefore persists, but if they express their frustrations, they lose face... the result – constant escapism and suppressed anger – likely to explode if poked in the wrong way!!

Don't get me wrong, I love the Thai mentality from my experiences to date, but I can see the potential fallout. East and West are complete opposites, as are the mentalities of the people who dwell there. It seems to me that there is a lot we can learn from each other to strike a balance, and find a healthy middle ground....

This article was inspired by Pod, who quite rightly removed my rose tinted glasses! Thanks Pod!

The Cool Heart of Thailand

There are two phrases commonly used in Thailand which pretty much sum up the mentality of the people. They are “mai pen rai” and “chai yen yen”.

“mai pen rai” means “no problem”, “it’s okay”, “no worries”

“chai yen yen” literally means “cool heart” and is used to say “stay calm”, “don’t stress” “calm down” etc etc....

The expressions seem to stem from or contribute to the incredible apparent ability of the Thai people to let things go and accept what’s coming, or what already is. It occurred to me that this attitude of going with the flow of things, and accepting that some things can’t be controlled, is the complete opposite of our western psyche.

Looking around my surroundings here on Koh Lanta I can see the manifestation of this “acceptance” in just about every area of life. To a Thai person, to lose your temper in public is a display of weakness, and by losing your temper you actually lose face to those around you, and lose out to yourself too. They seem to have an innate understanding that there is no point in losing your temper, as you cannot control the situation which has made you angry. You can however control yourself and the way you react to the situation. So when something goes wrong, they have an immediate tendency to say “mai pen rai” – “no worries”, what is, is, so there’s no point crying over spilt milk.

I’m not sure where this mentality stems from. I’ve read that it could be due to the fact that Thailand has always been an agricultural nation, and has been subject to the swings of nature, over which they have no control. I pondered on the possibility of it being a direct philosophy of life which is derived from Buddhist teachings and history, and I reflected on the heat and temperature, and wondered whether it was simply too hot for people to have the energy to worry about things. Possibly it’s a combination of all of these things, but wherever it stems from, as I look around, I start to gain an understanding that one of the things that makes this place and these people so different to life back home, is the way they seem to have relinquished control, and developed an acceptance of life.

When I think of life in England, I think of people, governments, and institutions who are trying to control scenarios, people and situations. The direct result of this control freak system is that the people tend to feel suppressed, controlled or rebellious, and the controllers tend to get frustrated and stressed when things don’t work out quite as intended.

The direct result of the “cool heart of Thailand”, on first impressions, seems to be that perhaps it takes longer to get things done, and perhaps things are not done in the most efficient way. Perhaps there are no HUGE achievements on the global stage – but from what I can gather so far – stress, depression and mental illness are not present on the grand scale that they are back home.

I know that I have only scratched the surface as far as the Thai mentality is concerned. I also know that the control system I talk about is deeply engrained in my own personal psyche. This post is not therefore intended to offend any English or Westerners, but is simply an observation of the differences as I see them at the moment!

Not getting things done on Koh Lanta

Okay – so January was my time to chill out and not really worry about very much, or do very much. “February I will start to be productive!” I had told myself.

So – here we are in February. Actually right now it’s the 6th February. Since the 1st of February I have been trying to get things moving in my “professional internet publisher/copywriting” capacity. I have piles of projects to work on, heaps of ideas to explore, and mountains of things I want to write about – so GREAT – I AM TOTALLY DRIVEN TO GET ON WITH THINGS! No seriously – I am! Everyone else however, has other plans for me!!!

Let’s take the other day for example.

8.00 am : Wake up, stroll down to 7 eleven for ice coffee. Log on to the internet in our bungalow via Bluetooth, and check emails. Paul hasn’t checked his for a while, so he takes the computer and replies to a few friends – by which time it’s approaching 10am and I’m thinking – “hasn’t he got a course to go to or something?”

10.00am: I push Paul off the computer and he drags himself around the bungalow trying to muster up the enthusiasm to go to “school”. He has a day of academic study! Ha ha ha ha! He’s not so enthusiastic as he is when he’s out on the boat! Meanwhile I check out the finances and do some cashflow analysis – YEP definitely time to get productive!!! And definitely time to stop paying for Bluetooth and go find a free wireless spot.

12.00am or is it pm? I’ve finished the cashflow, had a hot shower, got my glad rags on – and ready to head off somewhere quiet to work, but argh, I need to meet my friend for lunch. She lives at the other end of the island and I haven’t seen her for a few days – so lunch would be a good time to catch up. Still – that gives me all afternoon to BE PRODUCTIVE!

2.00p.m: I’ve had lunch (or was it brunch?), and have had a nice chilled chat with my friend. She knows I want to be “productive”, so she heads off to find some of her own productivity – maybe a game of yahtzee or a power snorkel? I don’t know – but she’s off..... I move to another bar which I think will be quiet, and NOONE I know will be there!!! I arrive at Rastababy bar, which is home to a litter of about 10 puppies... aahhhh – I must play with them a little.... But – Yay laptop is fired up and ready to go...

3.00pm: A couple I met at Kan Tiang Bay come into the bar.......

4.00pm: I send the laptop into hibernate mode as I’ve not used it for an hour while I’ve been chatting to this really friendly, nice couple..... who I genuinely wanted to spend some time with.. I make my excuses, pay the bill and leave....arranging to meet them at the bar at 9pm!

4.30pm: At last – my quiet spot. Viewpoint restaurant.... I now have about an hour and a half of productivity time left at the very most!!!! And those prawn crackers will still keep flying around the restaurant! (see previous post for those of you confused by the prawn cracker scenario!)....

5.30pm: The internet isn’t working at Viewpoint so I head back to Drunken Sailor to do some bits and pieces on the internet.

5.45pm: A friend spots me in Drunken Sailor, and pops over for a chat... I try to multi task...

6.00pm: She understands I’m trying to get on and leaves...

6.05pm: Another new friend comes along. We chat..

6.10pm: The phone rings – it’s Paul – He’s starving hungry after his day of study and is ready to eat...

6.15pm: Laptop closed down – working day is over!

The moral of the story: Working while travelling is NOT an easy task, there are plenty of pleasurable distractions. If you're trying to work from hotspots - then just about everyone around you is on holiday, or having a day off... Finding a quiet environment where you can be productive - can sometimes be the greatest challenge...

7 ways to stay cool in soaring temperatures

Sitting here on a Sunday in Koh Lanta, at the beginning of February it’s hard to believe that we have been here almost an entire month now. Time seems to have passed by in a flash and the sweltering temperature, particularly over the last few days, has left us feeling like a pair of rarely cooked steaks which have just been shown a glimpse of the heat.

This morning we were on the balcony at 9am drinking our morning ice coffee, and we had to push our chairs as close to the wall of our bungalow as possible in order to remain in the shade and escape the burning morning rays. We’ve been told that at this time of the year the weather just gets hotter and hotter by the day, until it reaches the forties, and sends everyone (including the locals) into a sleepy state where they can do nothing but sit inside with air conditioning or a fan blowing directly on them. Joy of joys! By that time we will be feeling like sizzling burnt sausages which have been left on a burning BBQ.

So... we’ve come up with a list of 7 ways to stay cool in soaring temperatures!

1. Go diving
Divers are lucky – they get to sit on the boats and feel the breeze as the boat cruises over the liquid topaz water to take them to their dive sites, and then they cool off by dipping to depths in the 28 degree ocean for almost an hour. You can almost imagine the steam coming from their bodies as they hit the cooler temperature – almost like a hot frying pan being dunked in a bucket of cool water... In addition to the initial release of steam as you hit the water - your body loses heat a lot quicker when under water - by the end of an hour long dive, if you’re lucky – you may even be COLD!!!!

2. Go snorkelling or swimming
If you don’t fancy diving, or your budget won’t allow it – take a snorkel, mask and fins – smother yourself in sun screen – or better still wear a rash vest and shorts – then stroll leisurely into the sea and take a look at some on the critters residing in your bay. If that gets too energetic – then just float around, or even sit on the sand with the water up to your neck...

3. Go for a drive
This is a great way to cool down, especially if you are suffering from beach fever and want to get away from things a little. Hop on the moped and as soon as you’ve pulled the accelerator lever you’ll feel the cooling breeze. Head for the straightest bit of road you know so you can open up and feel the coolness as the air rushes past you, faster and faster.

TIPS while on the moped: If you pick up a pace and feel a little adrenalin kick in – don’t be too shy to allow a huge “yeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” to escape from your lips – it’s good for your soul! And plus if there’s no one around and you’re on your own – no one will hear you anyway!! Watch out for the occasional elephant, monkey or goat who may roam out on to the road and the show them respect by slowing down.
Don’t forget to fill up with petrol before you go!



And alyways wear sunscreen !

4. Go shopping in 7 eleven
7 eleven is THE convenience store of Thailand. Open 24 hours and offering possibly the coolest aircon you can imagine the shop makes for an excellent cool down stop. You can easily amuse yourself for 15 minutes by taking the opportunity to explore the local offerings of snacks displayed along the shelves.



5. Poor a bucket of cold water over your head
I would have said take a cold shower – however we’ve discovered that at our place the only time the water from the shower is cold is in the evenings. Anytime during the day and you experience quite hot water trickling from the shower – which is fantastic if you want to get clean – but not so great if you want to cool down. As the infrastructure of the island is still less than ideal we also have days when we have no water at all in our bungalow. So – we always have a bucket of water in the bathroom – which is great for chucking over you when you need to cool down – plus it’s a back up if there’s no water supply!

6. Find a cool and breezy spot on the island
As you drive around Koh Lanta on the moped you can’t help but notice the pockets of cool and warm air that you hit. Even though it is a small island there seems to be little micro climates going on... (no doubt their is a scientific explanation for this - but I have no idea what it is) When you’re driving around – look for a cool spot which also has a restaurant – and click save to store it in your memory bank. Then on a hot day – head for that spot...

So far I’ve been 3 times to View Point Restaurant – the first one past Klong Nin. Each time it has been cool and always very breezy. I’m there now as it happens – and one of my prawn crackers was just lifted off its plate by the wind, and flew across the restaurant. They have free wireless here too – which is fab – and the view out is amazing!



7. Have a cold beer
If all else fails – simply sit under a fan for the morning – and then when beer oclock arrives (whatever time you set yourself for beer oclock!), simply crack open a bottle of Singha and forget about things!



So if you’re not out diving, you could quite easily stay cool all day if you apply yourself.

1. First make sure the fan is on through the night pointing directly on you, so that wake up to some kind of breeze.
2. Find some shelter on your balcony for your morning coffee
3. Chuck a bucket of cold water over you
4. Head for the hills on the moped, and find a spot to stay for a few hours
5. Head back home and then when it gets too hot again – go for a float in the sea.
6. After all that floating you may feel peckish so nip to 7 eleven for some shopping
7. By the time you’ve done all that it ought to be beer oclock
8. By the time you’ve finished your first beer the early evening will be bringing some cooler weather...

arrghhhh 3 more of my prawn crackers just flew across the restaurant!!!

Colour Culture

Last night we were eating our evening meal when our rather eloquent waiter stopped for a chat once more.

He always wore great Thai pants, which were subtle in colour and individual in pattern. Paul had taken a liking to them and was trying to find out how he could get hold of some. Our friend told us that his cousin makes them and that he would bring a selection in for Paul to choose from.

“No pink ones!” we joked...

“Ahhh – no, no! No pink ones!” our friendly waiter replied.

One of our friends from England was also dining with us that evening. “In England, if a man wears pink, people think, little bit gay!” he said. “Same, same in Thailand?”

“No!” replied our waiter.

We chatted for a while about why it is that we associate pink with the feminine in England. We reached the quite obvious conclusion, that it was likely due to the fact that when babies are born we immediately surround them with objects and clothes of colours to match their sex – pink for girls, blue for boys. At a very early age we are subconsciously brain washed into associating pink with the feminine and blue for the masculine. We decided that different colours for each sex must have come about out of necessity - so that people could easily identify what sex a baby is – after all – they quite often all look the same when they are born (unless they are naked of course!).

Our waiter informed us that in Thailand, there was no colour associated to a particular sex at child birth; instead the girls’ clothes are more frilly and decorative than the males’.

“We only really have one colour that means something for man in Thailand” added our friendly waiter. He picked up a pen with a purple lid and pointed to it. “What colour you call this?” he asked.

“Purple!” we all called out together, as if we’d just pipped our competition to the post in a University challenge type TV quiz..

“Ahhhh! Purple!” he nods.

“In Thailand, if man wear purple it means he is – how you say – divorced? Or with no wife – orr??” he circles his arms trying to encourage us to find the words he is looking for.

“Single? Available? Batchelor?” I guessed – keen to win the next university challenge points.

“Yes. Yes!” he laughs. “Awailable!” the Thais have difficulty pronouncing V’s, and they often sound like w’s.

“No purple Thai pants for Paul!” I had the last word before our waiter laughed and strolled off to serve someone else.

Lanta Marine Park View - Koh Lanta - Thailand

Set in the cliff side of Kan Tiang Bay, Lanta Marine Park View has become one of our regular haunts for a multitude of reasons.

1. The view from the bar and restaurant is probably one of THE best views of the bay.



2. The friendly waiters and bar staff always make you feel welcome.

3. The food is consistently good - unless you ask for spicy Thai style with a smile on your face. In which case they can’t resist a challenge, and you’ll find yourself melting and sweating with numbing lips and a mouth on fire – as I discovered the other day (and I like it HOT)!

4. There is always a party in the bar which is aptly named The Shroom Bar. This can prove a great tonic if you suffer from the occasional bout of insomnia. If you find yourself unable to sleep in the early hours of the morning, you can almost guarantee that if you wander down to the Shroom Bar, you will find someone to chat to! The place should come with a health warning however!



“BEWARE! Once you have frequented this establishment, you may feel the urge to party here every night! While we like to party with you, we would just like to warn that you may end up leaving the island as a nocturnal being with a serious drink problem! Alternatively – you may never leave!”

5. They have wireless internet – Yaaay! It isn’t free – you need to buy a card and provide a contribution.. but with a view like that – it has to be worth a few pennies every now and again.



6. The steps leading up to the bar and restaurant are providing us with a daily legs, bums and tums work out.

For more information about the resort and the accommodation on offer click here

Thank you to Aniko for letting me use some of her holiday snaps... Lovely to meet you Aniko – Goodbye and good luck!

Getting around Koh Lanta

It would be a shame to spend time on Koh Lanta and not explore the coast line with its myriad of restaurants and bars, all of which offer a different view or a different vibe. You can get taxis and tuk-tuks, but it works out much cheaper to hire a moped.

A moped can cost between 200 and 300 baht per day to hire, or between 2,500 and 4,000baht for a month.

If it’s a feeling of freedom you’re looking for, not many things will top riding along the winding coastal road of Koh Lanta with the sun beating down on you and the wind blowing in your hair – yeeeahaaaa! I love it! Just beware receiving the common moped tattoo on your right calf, courtesy of the burning exhaust.

It is the law to wear a helmet, though it isn’t enforced to any great extent. Occasionally the police have a clamp down, and if you get stopped for not wearing one you could be charged between 200 and 500 baht.

Drink driving laws seem nonexistent here as well, enabling party goers some wobbly rides home from the various beach bars. There is a high chance that regular snake and ladder journeys home from the bar will eventually end in a skin grazed arm or leg at the very least – so naturally it is recommended that common sense is applied, and if possible – get a taxi home from the party, or stay in a bungalow near by.

Here’s a picture of our first moped (the lower end of the market)...

An insight to the Thai way of life

One of the most pleasant aspects of Thailand has to be the overwhelming friendliness of the locals. As a stressed out paranoid westerner if can unnerve you a little when you first encounter it.

Constant questions from complete strangers meet some people with suspicion.

"Where you stay? What are you doing today? What are you doing on Lanta? How long do you stay on Lanta? Where are you from?”

Some people find themselves thinking – “Like – Why do you want to know? What has it to do with you and what are you up to?”

But after a while you soon relax and realise that they are just being friendly. They like to get to know the people that are around them every day, and many have a great interest in practicing their English just by chatting to as many English speaking people as possible. Sometimes the conversation can be fairly limited depending on how well they have grasped the English language, or indeed how good they are at conversational skills. But you also often get a great insight in to life as a Thai person. Given my quest to research various cultures and how they differ to the English way of life, I embrace any opportunity to have a good chat to the locals.

I had a good chat with a waiter the other day. He just came and sat besides us for a while, and went through some of the usual “getting to know each other” chit chat. He was a very softly spoken gentlemen, with a good grasp of the English language. Many waiters are young, and just out for laughs, but this guy was different. He had a rather eloquent demeanour about him, and it was a pleasure to have him join us at the table for a chat.

He told us of his family – a wife, one child, and one more on the way. He explained how now he was 31 and with family he didn’t like to drink. He had to work to bring money in for his children. His day starts at 6.30am when he goes to the rubber plantation until around 10am, when he starts his day job. He stays at the restaurant until around 5pm in the evening when he nips back home for a break – ready to start work again at about 7pm for the remainder of the night.

“Wow – that’s a hard day’s work!” I exclaimed.

“It’s okay” he answered. “I have to bring money for children!”

“In England – the same” I sympathise. “People with families have to work very hard to pay for house and feed children!”

“I think Thailand easier” he replies. “My wife can stay at home and look after children. Here on Koh Lanta anyway. In Bangkok, I think not so easy. People have to take children to care, then go to work, then pick up. Not good. England, same same, I think. Koh Lanta, it’s okay.”

Intrigued to know more about how the locals felt about their quality of life, I pushed a little further.

“And life expectancy in Thailand?” I asked. “In England sure some people become ill and die at 60 years or maybe 50, but many people live to be 80 or 90 years old. What is it like in Thailand?”

“Sure it is good. Like my grandfather, he is nearly 100 years old! He has money.” He smiles patting his pocket. “And sometimes, when he is ill and has to go to hospital, he is always – like this (patting his pocket), saying “Where my money!” checking it is still there”.

I laughed, thinking of my own grandfather back home. He’s 95 years old and is also often concerned about where his wallet is when he is taken to hospital.

“And your grandfather? He lives with your family?” I ask.

“Yes” he answered. “My family look after him”.

“In England” I continue, “many people have to go to work and cannot care for grandparents. They have to put them into care home. It’s sad”.

“I think Thailand better” he smiles.

“I think Thailand, some things not so good” I return his smile. Then I tap my head with my finger. “But many things very good. Many things the Thai do better”.

Our home for the next 3 months

As we arrived late into the season on Koh Lanta it proved really difficult to negotiate a long-stay agreement with the resorts on the beach front. They can charge a lot more per night to short stay tourists. It soon became clear that a house or bungalow away from the beach would be much cheaper.

After a few days the owner of the resort we were staying at revealed that he knew of a concrete bungalow, close to the bay, which was available to rent.

“You come with me! I show you!” he said in pigeon English with Thai accent. And with that he hopped onto his moped, and tapped the seat behind him. As instructed I hopped on, wondering where in the world he was going to take me.

Just 30 seconds later he pulled up a road way which led to some new bungalows that Paul and I had been to look at the day before on a fellow expat’s recommendation. We had instantly taken a liking to the peachy bungalows in the hills, and were waiting to find the appropriate people to speak to. GREAT! The co-owner had found us! This was obviously meant to be!



Within 5 minutes I’d agreed a good price, and 2 hours later we moved in to our new peachy bungalow, with running water, sofa, a flush toilet, and a tranquil view over Kan Tiang Bay.

As the bungalows have only just been completed and were standing empty, we managed to agree an extremely good price when paying for 3 months up front. We struck lucky. Next year I’m sure we would pay more than double for the same place.

Koh Lanta at last!!!

As we had so much luggage, and we were really tired we opted for a nice taxi direct from the Airport to our final destination.

When the taxi stopped at the car ferry port on the mainland, we got out for a few minutes while the slow chugging car ferry approached. In the distance I could see the steep edged islands that this area of Thailand is so famous for, standing proudly out of the sea.

Immediately I was choked, and almost moved to tears. 4 years I had wanted to come back to this place, and now it was within sight.

We got back into the taxi and completed the journey. Car ferry to Koh Lanta Noi, drive through Lanta Noi, and then another car ferry to the North of Koh Lanta Yai. As we drove through Koh Lanta to the south of the island, the first thing that struck me was the volume of development that had taken place in 4 years. The main road that takes you from North to South was almost completely built up, with real estate agents, restaurants, resorts and shops. 4 years ago, hardly any of it was there! I was prepared for this fortunately. I always believed the island would expand and develop. If I loved it and could see its potential 4 years ago, then naturally developers and investors would see it too.

The further south we went, the less development there was , and finally we arrived in Kan Tiang Bay - a beautiful white sandy bay with a couple of 5 star resorts and other resorts of varying standard dotted around.

Unfortunately there had been a mix up with our accommodation, so we had to quickly find somewhere to stay. Not an easy task when it’s peak season and most places are full. In the end we found a cheap bamboo bungalow set in palm trees off the road for 300 baht a night (approx £5). It was very basic, and very small, so not ideal for a long stay – but at least it was somewhere to rest our heads while we looked for somewhere more suitable.

Exhausted from our night out in Bangkok, and a day of travelling, we crashed out – leaving further explorations for the next day.

Getting to Koh Lanta

Koh Lanta Yai is a beautiful island in the Andaman Sea on the west coast of Thailand. The long, thin island stretches for 22km from North to South, and the entire west coast is laden with strips of white, sandy beaches set against the backdrop of lush green mountains and cliffs.

To get to Koh Lanta you can fly to Trang (the choice for most locals), or Krabi. We chose to fly to Krabi with Air Asia from Bangkok Airport. I found Air Asia to be the cheapest of the airlines that I looked into. They have regular flights, and you can book on-line.

From Krabi you can either get a passenger ferry from Krabi town to the North of Koh Lanta, or you can opt for a taxi which will take you across two car ferries, direct to your destination on Koh Lanta.

A taxi direct to the south of the island from Krabi airport costs about 3,000 baht, so this is by no means the cheapest way to do it....People on a budget could try to find other people at the airport who are going to Koh Lanta, and share a minibus. It works out cheaper to get a taxi to Krabi port, then a passenger ferry to Koh Lanta, and then a taxi at the other end to your destination on the island. This is also by far the most scenic route... There are 2 draw backs to this way though... a) If you have a lot of luggage it’s more of a pain to change taxis and ferries, and b) the ferry leaves Krabi port early afternoon so you need to make sure you get there on time, otherwise you’ll need to spend a night in Krabi town..

Alternatively, you may strike lucky as our friend did who came to visit a couple of days ago. He managed to negotiate a lift with some monks from the airport. It cost him just 250 baht to get to Koh Lanta, PLUS he had the pleasure of a random and enlightening experience at the same time...